“Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager.”

I saw an Instagram post months ago that said, “everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager,” and it stuck with me. I wrote about it once already, but while moving my website to a new host, I found myself revisiting that post and the idea behind it. It still feels true. Maybe even more so now.

As I’ve shifted from full-time people management inside a large company to working for a small business, running my own small business and doing community-based work, I’m watching this play out in real time. A lot of people say they want connection. They want belonging. They want community. But when it comes to the actual work of being in community, showing up, following through, and giving without a guarantee of getting something back, people tend to disappear.

It’s made me think more about what a “village” really requires.

To me, being a villager looks like checking in even when you’re busy. Offering help without waiting to be asked. Showing up to a friend’s class, event, or soft launch.

Caring about people when it isn’t convenient or strategic. It means giving without keeping score. It means understanding that when one of us wins, we all win.

In corporate spaces, we talk a lot about culture, collaboration, and inclusion. There are frameworks, values decks, and teams whose job it is to support those ideas. Outside of those walls, there is no handbook. No one is holding you accountable. That part is on you.

So if you find yourself wishing you had more community, it’s worth asking yourself: How am I being a good villager?

And if that question feels uncomfortable or hard to answer, that’s not a failure. It’s an invitation.

Don’t wait for the village to appear. Start building it.